Saturday, January 8, 2011
A Weighty Issue
It's the new year and all around the world it seems that people are focusing on losing weight and eating healthier. I, too, am going to jump on the bandwagon.
Over the last six months or so, I've gained about 10 pounds. It's enough to make most of my clothes not fit right and to make me not to want to post my outfit of the day pictures. It's rare that I get an outfit I feel "pretty" in any more. Notice that my monthly post count went way down hill last August - that's why.
Maintaining a healthy weight has been a struggles of mine over the past 8 years, but it wasn't always so. When I was growing up, I was stick thin and I could eat whatever. Don't you just hate people like that. Then I graduated from university the first time with a degree in history and found that I had the least employable degree ever. I was saddled with thousands of dollars of student loans and had no job. I sat on the couch for a summer, depressed, and ate chips to comfort myself. At the end of the summer, when I put my sun dresses away, I realized that none of my pants fit me. I had gained a lot of weight (and had the stretch marks to prove it).
I finally did find a job. Actually RDog did. He got me a customer service job at his former office for the grand salary of $10/hour. The unhealthy eating continued. Looking back now, I realize that I was really depressed. This was not a high point in my life.
Two years after graduating from university, I got my shit together and decided to go back. I enrolled at the University of Maine to get my teaching degree. I can't believe I am going to show this picture. This was when I first visited the campus in 2005. I am 5'10" and I think I was about 200 pounds.
It really grosses me out to look at this.
The combination of being happier with my life, eating regular, albeit, cafeteria meals and starting to use the gym, caused me to lose about 20 pounds. By the time I was finished my degree I was weighing around 175 pounds.
Here I am being a goof on one of my last days at university.
Flash forward to January, 2008. I was getting married and needed a dress. I don't know what I was thinking but I ordered a wedding dress on EBay. Actually I do know what I was thinking; I found the designer dress of my dreams (Pronovias white lace) for a steal ($400). I heard wedding dresses run small so without looking at measurements, I ordered a non-returnable dress in a size 12, one size larger that my normal 10. When the dress arrived, I realized that in Pronovias dress land, a size 12 is really like a size 6. I couldn't even get the dress up over my butt it was so small! This gorgeous wedding dress gave me the motivation to get my butt in gear and really get healthy.
I mean, look at the lace and beading. So beautiful.
So I had the motivation to get healthy, all I needed was the knowledge. Step in this book
I discovered how to eat clean and boy did I eat clean. Lots of oatmeal, tuna, chicken, egg whites, veggies and fruit. I was so hard core I gave up cheese - CHEESE (I love me some cheese). I also started using an elliptical about 5 times a week. Before I knew it, it was May and my bridal shower and I looked like this (and weighed 147 pounds!). And I loved it.
I love this picture because you can see my pretty white smile. All my life I never smiled in pictures because I had one very crooked tooth. It stuck in and made me look like I was almost missing a front tooth. I was NOT going to let my tooth ruin my wedding pictures. One veneer was all it took. Best money I ever spent!
Anyways, our wedding day arrived and it truly was the best day of my life. Oh, and the dress fit. :-)
Excuse the goofy pose, it was hard to find a picture without someone else in it. RDog prefers to remain anonymous.
After my post wedding feed of pizza (I ate it while wearing my wedding dress while my groom was passed out beside me - romantic eh :-) and a feeding frenzy during our cruise honeymoon, I kept on with the clean eating, but on a lighter level. I ate cheese and butter once again. I was able to keep my weight in the low 150s and was happy with that. Remember, I'm 5'10'. But over time, I forgot more and more of the eating clean principles and ate more and more junk. I knew I was gaining weight but didn't really want to deal with it besides drowning my sorrows in a bag of chips.
It all came to a head this past week when I stepped on the scale and was shocked. I can't believe I am going to tell you this (I am really getting up close and personal with this post) but I weighed 166 pounds. I went to the closet and took out the stack of jeans I haven't worn in months because deep down I knew they wouldn't fit and well, I tried them on. And there it was staring me straight in the face. My jeans wouldn't fit. I had gained too much weight. Enough, I thought. This is enough.
I dug out my eat clean books and sat down to have a good read. It came back pretty quickly. I made my grocery lists and hit the bulk barn for my oats and spices and other odd things that the checkout girl didn't recognize. I started cooking instead of reaching into the freezer and popping something processed into the oven. And I posted this to hold me accountable. Yes, I've gained weight but gosh darn I'm going to lose it!
So there's my story. Thank you for sticking with me through it. I plan on posting regular updates on my clean eating to get my on task. And hopefully the outfit pictures with start to return once I start to feel better about the way my clothes look on me.