Jasper

I am having a rough day. Our cat Jasper passed away yesterday. He was only five.

Yesterday morning, Jasper looked fine. He was in bed with us early in the morning purring away. I remember that when my husband started to get out of bed because he had to go to the airport, I wouldn't let him crawl out of my bed on my side. Jasper was on the other side and wouldn't move either. DH had to crawl to the end and hop off that way!

We left the house at 10 am. Jasper was sitting on our big leather ottoman in the sun. There is a basket on the ottoman that I bought to hold our many TV remotes. Jasper claimed it as his own long ago. It was a little too small for Jasper's girth so when he curled up in it, there was always a stray paw or two sticking out. Jasper was sitting straight up in this basket when I left. He looked right at me and I said goodbye and that I would be back in a few hours.

I dropped off DH at the airport and drove to my parents' house, about an hour and half away. My dad and I came back in the afternoon as my dad is staying with me this week. I don't do alone time very well. I came in the house first as Dad dug through the trunk to get his bags. Jasper was lying in his basket right where he was when I left him but he was stretched out with his head resting on the edge. It looked like he was asleep but he looked different. His eyes were really closed. I called his name and he didn't move. It was really weird because he always runs to the door to greet who ever is entering. I walked up to him and touched him on the stomach. Then I knew; Jasper had died.

The vet doesn't know what happened to Jasper. He was only five and appeared fine. I am comforted by the fact that he fell asleep in his favorite spot in the sun. There was no suffering. He didn't have to make a stressful trip to the vet after suffering through an illness. We will never know what happened. To have an autopsy done, we would have to send Jasper to another province and they would not send his remains back. We have chosen to have him cremated so upon my husband's return, we can say goodbye to our "big man". Together.

It was so hard to call my husband on his layover in Toronto and tell him the news. Jasper and DH had a strong man bond going on. Jasper was his shadow, always by his side. Jasper would wake DH up in the middle of the night by licking his hair. Jasper loved to take care and groom his "dad". I know this week will be so hard on my husband, even though he won't show it. He said the flight from Toronto to San Fransisco was so long. Everything that he brought to entertain himself, movies and games, couldn't distract him from the fact that Jasper is gone.

I'm home today. I took a sick day to deal with the logistics of what to do with Jasper. I'm so glad my dad was here to help. As I sit here in my living room, I look around and can see Jasper everywhere. I can see him stretched out of the floor in front of our fireplace. I can see him perched beside the window keeping guard over the neighborhood. I can see him trotting happily to his food bowl at supper time. I miss my Jasper Doodle so much.

I am comforted by my Kitty, who knows something is wrong with her Mommy. She hasn't left my side all day and is giving me lots of cuddles and kisses. I was worried that whatever happened to him will happen to her. We closed off all areas where Jasper might have gotten into something, mostly our basement. I moved Kitty's litterbox into my bedroom so I can make sure her bathroom habits are normal. She is eating and drinking. She is talking a lot. Before Jasper came to live with us, Kitty would talk a lot. She was lonely. When Jasper came, she stopped talking. She must be lonely today.